Thoughts on Fat People and Racism from a non-oppressed but very obvious minority.

Reading IA's diatribe against fat people was interesting. Lots of people popped out of the woodwork to take sides.

Me and some friends got together last night for drinks and conversation. Because there was an American, a Canadian, 3 Brits (English, Welsh, and Scottish), and a South African, it was an interesting evening. The talk turned to racism. And I think we all had to confess that there is a certain degree that we consider ourselves racist.

And in the end, it struck me as similar to those comments about fat people. Everyone has preferences about who they will befriend, who they will avoid, and how they will behave when confronted with someone outside that group. I can't go out and make friends with a black person to prove I'm not racist. Ultimately, people prefer someone like themselves, I think. You can get along well with the fat person at work, but you don't have to ask him/her out on a date. Or the black person. Or the Iranian immigrant. Or the white guy who is a total asshole. Or the retarded person who cleans up the place.

The word "retarded" came up last night, and it kind of precipitated the whole discussion. I said that in private, you're allowed to have whatever opinions you want. That doesn't make you a bad person. You might make other people uncomfortable, and maybe it will lead to a situation like IA's comment section where people said essentially, "I'm fat, or know someone who is, and you suck because of your opinion." You can always try to avoid controversy, or you can have an opinion and start a real conversation.

Americans and the Western world in general have been pushing for acceptance of all kinds of people in the last decade or so. Out with the hatred, in with the loving. That kind of teaching has some value, but in the long run, it's more useful and important to use the law to insist that people are treated fairly in the public sphere. No amount of teaching will get them to stop making fun of you behind your back. If I could live in Taiwan for 100 years, the locals would never stop staring at me and my white skin. But they'll (nearly) always do business with me. That's a far more important measure of progess.

And, despite the fact that anyone's welcome to drop by, a weblog is, in my opinion, an essentially private thing. I'm sure ultimately the courts will see it differently. But people are, again, drawn to those weblogs/people who have something in common with themselves. Not the same types of people, but people who share some common interest. The world's a big place. Not everyone loves you.